Putting Your Problems into Perspective
Life always seems to present us with innumerable challenges and problems on a daily basis. It throws left hooks when we were expecting right ones; it gives us apples when we desire oranges; it even presents us with seemingly awful surprises that we weren’t expecting, and it bloats us with unresourceful emotions that tend to tie us down to a life of mediocrity and unhappiness.
Despite all this, it is not so much what happens to us that actually makes a difference, it is rather what we do with what happens to us that determines where we will end up, what we will have, and how we will be transformed by our experiences.
Never Give Up… Here Comes the Obstacles
It is very easy to strive towards the attainment of our goals and objectives when the oceans are calm and nothing appears to be standing in our way. However, if we are not mentally prepared the moment something begins to stir the waters and rock the boat from side-to-side, we begin to panic and struggle to deal with our circumstances. We see these problems and challenges as larger than life and way beyond our capabilities and means.
These events may very well end up overwhelming us and causing great heartache and hardship. As a result we may end up quitting and throwing in the towel of defeat, all because our resolve wasn’t strong enough to handle the burden associated with our journey towards the attainment of our objectives.
She Obstacles Within Us!
Probably the toughest and most challenging obstacles that we face come from within ourselves. These obstacles are extremely challenging to overcome because in many instances we are simply blinded to their existence.
Your first objective is to identify these obstacles and endeavor to understand how they are affecting your life and perception of reality. Secondly, you must learn to deal with them in an effective and resourceful way that will once again help move you in the right direction.
Let’s now take a closer look at each of these obstacles in a little more detail.
Lack of Desire
A lack of desire means that you simply do not have enough emotion behind your actions. It means that the goals and objectives that you are working towards are not yet emotionally important enough. As a result, when obstacles come your way, you will not have the emotional reservoirs available to successfully deal with these challenges, and you will therefore, likely succumb to your predicament without putting up a fight.
Lack of Self belief
When belief is lacking, you have very little hope of achieving anything of significance in your life.
The very moment an obstacle comes racing across your path, your lack of belief will manifest in two ways.
First, it will manifest as a lack of belief in yourself. Intrinsically you do not believe that you are good enough or worthy enough to achieve your goals and objectives.
Secondly, your weak belief systems result from not having enough confidence in your personal ability to successfully get through an obstacle in your path. As a result you lack the willpower to persist when things get a little tough and somewhat unfamiliar.
Lack of Commitment.
A lack of commitment is somewhat related to a lack of desire. However, when it comes to commitment it pretty much stems from your inability to manufacture enough why reasons to move you through the obstacles that stand in your way.
If you are unable to generate enough reasons to get you through an obstacle, then you will likely quit when the going gets tough.
It is also important to realize that your commitment levels are directly connected to the expectations that you initially formed when you began your journey towards the attainment of your objectives. If along your journey you are not meeting your expectations, then your commitment will waver and you will be more likely to quit in the face of adversity.
Asking too Many WHY Questions
‘Why’ questions are self-sabotaging programming tools that focus you on your inadequacies and weaknesses.
When things start to get a little challenging, and externally it begins to appear as though you are fighting against a losing cause, then ‘why’ questions will put the finishing touches on a journey filled with regret and unfulfilled objectives. The moment you start asking yourself…
Why does this always happen to me…?
Why do I always fail…?
Why is this always so difficult…?
Why is life always against me…?
…is the moment you should effectively pack up your bags and leave the Big Brother House.
These questions are self-sabotaging forces that will put you into a state of regret and emotional weakness. Avoid them at all costs.
Focusing on What ‘Don’t Want’
Whenever you are focusing on your problems, obstacles, and uncontrollable circumstances then you are at that moment focusing on things you don’t want in your life.
It is said that whatever you focus on will expand and envelop you in a new reality. Therefore if you continue to focus on the things that you do not want , this will effectively expand the things you do not want within your reality.
All your thoughts, actions, behaviors and decisions will create an unresourceful state of weak-thinking that will likewise continue to sabotage your progress towards the attainment of your goals and objectives.
Being Riddled with Negative Emotions
A negative emotion is basically an emotion that puts you into an unresourceful state, which discourages action and effective decision making.
The emotions of worry, anxiety, doubt, overwhelm, anger, and guilt all work together to create a powerful self-sabotaging cocktail that will hypnotize you into a state of self-pity, that will likewise prevent you from achieving your goals and objectives.
Being Riddled with Tears
Over time, our negative emotions usually turn into
uncontrollable fears that direct and dictate our daily decisions and actions. These fears will rob you of your life essence and desire to successfully move past the obstacles that stand in your way.
The fears of rejection, responsibility, success and failure will leach and drain your energy of the life essence you need to attain your goals and objectives.
Being Riddled with Excuse
All the above mentioned self-sabotaging forces naturally feed the excuses that we build up within ourselves over time.
There would be no reason to make excuses if the above mentioned forces weren’t directing our behavior. Yet, it is important to understand that in some ways our excuses are blessings in disguise, as they provide us with an insight into the self-sabotaging forces that are dominating our current reality and process of thinking.
Pay attention to the excuses you continuously make, and identify where exactly they originate from. Identification is the first step that will set you on course towards taking control of your emotional responses. Ask yourself:
Do my excuses come from a lack of desire?
Do they come from a lack of self-belief?
Do they manifest as simply a lack of commitment on my part?
Am I making excuses because I’m asking too many ‘why’ questions?
Do my excuses come from the fact that I’m focusing on what I don’t want?
Or do they simply come from my negative emotions that are manifesting as fears?
Obstacles Manifesting through Our Actions
There is another set of obstacles that naturally manifest through our daily decisions and actions. These aren’t so much obstacles that come from within ourselves, but rather obstacles that come from a lack of judgment, understanding, insight and experience.
The first step is to identify these obstacles, while the second step is to incorporate strategies that will allow you to correct your course-of-action and set you on track towards the attainment of your goals and objectives.
Pushing Decisions
In many instances we sabotage our success and create unnecessary obstacles along our path simply because we rush our decision making process .
We rush our decisions because of a lack of time or as a result of external pressures or circumstances. And the consequences of such inefficient decision making can sometimes cost us more than the process of refraining from making the decision in the first place.
Making Incorrect Decisions
Other times we simply make incorrect decisions due to a lack of understanding about a situation, or due to a lack of experience or resources.
In this instance we actually take the time to carefully consider our decision making process, and we come up with conclusions that we feel will best assist us to move forward along our journey towards the attainment of our objectives. Yet, a lack of judgment on our part can lead to the creation of unnecessary obstacles that could’ve been avoided if we had taken a slightly different approach.
Sabotaging Habits
Our habits are in essence the daily decisions we make, and the actions we take that manifest in the outcomes we experience within your lives.
Action related self-sabotaging habits such a laziness and procrastination, are ongoing obstacles that many of us fight against on a daily basis. Some of these habits are so deeply ingrained into our psyche, that it is difficult for us to understand how to overcome them successfully.
Obstacles Created by Other People
At times we are confronted by obstacles that are brought about by the decisions and actions of other people.
It is not so much other people that are to blame for creating the obstacles within our lives, it is rather our approach and how we deal with others that manifests the reality we experience. However, for this discussion let’s ignore that fact, and just take a look at how others influence and create interpersonal obstacles along our journey towards attaining our goals and objectives.
People Not Cooperating
When people do not cooperate, or do not see things from your perspective, this can cause arguments and unresourceful time being spent on trying to convince others that your ideas and strategies are worthwhile and should be implemented.
If you want to succeed in life, you must obtain the cooperation of other people who can assist you along your journey. You must in essence become a person of influence.
People Sabotaging Your Progress
Sometimes people may purposefully try to sabotage your progress by doing things that will throw you off course in order to serve their own personal interests. This is a difficult obstacle to manage successfully if you have little experience in understanding the psychological tendencies of human behavior.
People Incorrectly Influencing Your
Decision and Actions
Even though some people may have the very best intentions for you and your future, this does not mean that their suggestions will be of greatest benefit for your future endeavors.
Other people simply may not have the right perspective, or insight into a situation that would make them effective mentors when it comes to influencing your decision making process. You must therefore be wary of the advice that people give you. By taking the wrong advice on board, you may end up creating more obstacles than you can handle.
Obstacles Springing from Circumstance
Finally, let’s take a quick look at the possible obstacles that could crop-up out of the changing circumstances within your life.
It is important to remember here that it is not what happens to us that makes a difference, it is rather how we respond to what happens that determines how successfully we overcome the challenges within our lives.
When Things Just Don’t Go As Planned
In this scenario you have meticulously planned out every detail along the path towards achieving your goals and objectives. However, for one reason or another something unexpected happens and your plans are thrown off course and into another unforeseen direction that brings great stress and anguish.
When Problems and Uncertainty Expand
In this scenario you successfully managed to handle the problems and obstacles that stood in your way. However, every time you manage to put an obstacle to rest, another problem pops up creating an even greater sense of uncertainty . It seems that the more problems you successfully deal with the deeper you dig yourself into further problems and challenges that appear to have no end.
When Circumstances Lead to the Appearance of Defeat
The above two scenarios of unending problems and uncertainty may in essence lead you to believe that defeat is only moments away. However, the reality of the situation may be somewhat different than what you might imagine. Within the next section we will discuss this in greater detail.
Reasons Behind all the Obstacles We Face
Obstacles are often only temporary roadblocks along our journey. For the most part, they are nothing more then interpretations that we make about people, events, ourselves and circumstances. Moreover, obstacles are there to teach us great lessons and help us to better understand our situation, others, ourselves, and the world around us.
Did you know that every obstacle that you face has an underlying reason for appearing within your reality?
Within this section will take a closer look at some of these reasons and identify what they really mean to your life and predicament.
Life is a Magnificent Journey
Life itself is a journey of self-discovery, and not just a mere combination of small destinations. It is a never-ending journey that has many unexpected turns, twists and surprises that make it worthwhile and fun.
When you are facing obstacles and challenges in your life, it is important to understand that you are on a journey, and that no one event or circumstance determines how your journey will pan-out over the course of a week, month, year or longer.
Let’s take a look at the journey of life in a little more detail.
Uncertainty is Required to Build Strength of Character
Life presents us with constant challenges in order to build strength of character.
Reflect on your past for a moment, and identify the challenges that you successfully faced and the adversity that you overcame. Ask yourself:
How did these events change me as a person?
How have they developed and shaped my character?
Would I be the same person I am today without having gone through these experiences?
How have my current decisions and actions changed as a result of these life events?
Life Moves through Cycles of Changes Like the Seasons
The natural world experiences cycles of change that we call seasons . These cycles of change move through stages of birth (spring), growth (summer), transformation (autumn), and hibernation (winter). We all acknowledge the fact that summer must end, just as much as we acknowledge the fact the winter will not last forever.
Using this metaphor, it is important to understand that the road towards the attainment of your goals and objectives also moves through periods of seasons.
You have your Springs which give birth to new and creative ideas. The Summers grow and expand those ideas in ways that allow you to reap unsurpassed rewards. Then there are your Autumns, which bring with them new obstacles and challenges that encourage a transformation of ideas, character and circumstances. And finally, we have our Winters that allow us to enter into long periods of hibernation and deep self-reflection into our life circumstances, future goals and objectives. When our Winter is over we once again move into the season of Spring, which brings with it new ideas that were cultivated during our Winter hibernation stage.
The seasonal cycles of life won’t always move in this particular combination or order, however at any moment in time be aware that you are indeed moving through a cycle. And no matter what that cycle is, be rest assured that this particular season will not last forever, and that no matter how grim your current predicament may be — as long as you persist — there will always be a light waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.
Life is a Journey of Wonders Hiding Around Every Corner
When it comes to life, we simply just never really know what’s hiding around the corner.
Our obstacles may currently be overwhelming our perceptions, however our perceptions do not make up our reality. What appears to be an overwhelming amount of problems may only be quite temporary. In fact, if you persist just a little longer, you may find that great opportunities and wonders are waiting for you just around the corner. You just never know .
Life is a Journey of Opportunities Disguised as Problems
The funny thing about life is that it sometimes has a habit of presenting us with a myriad of opportunities presenting themselves to us as unimaginable problems.
Remember, what you focus on becomes your reality . If you are constantly searching for problems and focusing on the things that you do not want, then that is all you will perceive within your reality. However, on the other hand, if all you are searching for are answers, solutions and opportunities, then you will always be turning lemons into lemonade.
You must effectively teach yourself to search for the seeds of opportunity in every apparent problem that crosses your path. By undertaking this deductive process, you will create a powerful habit that will allow you to spot what others simply fail to notice.
Life Requires New Learnings and Experiences
We do not exist just for the sake of existing. Instead we exist because we are here to learn, to experience and to mature as productive and intelligent human beings.
Every problem or obstacle we face has been presented to us for the purpose of teaching life lessons that will allow us greater clarity of thought as we progress forward along our journey towards the attainment of our goals and objectives. Therefore, don’t look down and frown upon the problems that you face, instead turn your frown upside-down and take time to learn from your challenges in ways that will expand your thinking and improve your predicament.
Other People Are Relying On You
You can never give up and never quit because if you really think about it, there are a multitude of other people who are relying on you to excel and succeed with achieving your goals and objectives.
Think about your kids, parents, siblings, family, spouse, colleagues, friends, the people you care about most, etc. How much are each of them relying on you to succeed in this field of endeavor? If you do not do this for yourself, then at least succeed for them.
It is also important to acknowledge that whether we know it or not, others are constantly watching and observing our daily life decisions and actions.
As a mentor to the younger generation, you must find it within yourself to set a good example, to lay down specific habits and foundational principles that you would like these younger minds to cultivate within their own personalities. I know it’s a big responsibility, however, their development and future circumstances may very well be determined by the decisions you make today .
Obstacles Allow for Personal Growth
Did you know that you will never achieve the goals you are working towards if you are incapable of learning from the problems (lessons) that life throws your way? In fact, you will never even get close to achieving your objectives if every time a problem arises you decide to look the other way or quit.
Life is a journey of learning and personal growth that guides you along the path towards your next stepping stone. Yes, this guidance is riddled with obstacles and problems, however these challenges are there to test our resolve, and to help us to deserve experiencing the goals we are striving for.
From this moment on, only view problems as opportunities for growth, and you will move forward towards your goals and objectives with accelerated speed and precision.
Time is Required to Succeed
Today more then ever before we live within a society that is riddled with instant gratification. We want quick food, love, money and success. Yet, for most of us, this will never eventuate, as success, love and money only come with time.
Before you ever decide to give up and quit, consider that you may need a little extra time before things fall into place the way you might have envisioned them. It therefore doesn’t hurt to develop a little patience.
Time is Required to Build a Strong Support Network
To achieve any goal or objective you need to rely on other people both directly and indirectly.
If you are struggling with an oversupply of obstacles then it could mean that you don’t yet have the adequate support network in place that will help you to move through these problems in an effective and efficient manner.
Take timeout to build-up your network of support by zoning-in on people who will naturally compliment your strengths and support your weaknesses.
Time is Required to Collect Resources
Another reason why you may currently be struggling with a myriad of problems and obstacles, is because you haven’t yet built enough resources to better assist you through these challenges.
Take time to research and determine the resources you will need to get you through your current obstacles and problems. Once you have your list together, go out into the world and gather these resources to help you overcome your challenges.
Time is Required to Master Life
Mastering life means teaching yourself the skills, strategies, techniques and acquiring the tools you need in order to successfully achieve your goals and objectives.
Take some timeout to study the obstacles that you currently face, and determine the skills, strategies, techniques and possible tools that you will need in order to move you through your current problems and circumstances. Mastering these skills, techniques, strategies and tools might take time, however your time will be spent on a great cause that will further your success as you accelerate your results.
Time is Required to Mature and
Gather Perspective
Sometimes you may have the support network in place, you may also have the necessary resources and skills that are required to overcome the obstacles that you currently face, however you continue to be stifled by their persistent aggravating methods that sabotage your journey at every step. In this instance the ingredient that is lacking is simply time.
We all need time to mature and gather perspective about our current life predicament and circumstances. In some instances, others will simply not be able to assist us, and we will need to take time to reflect and gather personal insights that can only be obtained from our own personal experiences.
The key here is to simply take time out for deep self-reflection. Reflect on your situation, focus on solutions and work on finding answers that you may not have been aware of before.
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